


And You've Been Taking Me for Granted- By Now

by KALA



Series: Fanmix For The Detectives. [1]
Category: Dojima/Adachi - Fandom, Persona 4
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Domestic, First Time, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romantic Friendship, Workplace Relationship, questionable sanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-14
Updated: 2012-08-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 02:45:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/485803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KALA/pseuds/KALA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU fic. Does not stick to the True Ending at all. Sick and tired of being treated like he is an idiot, Adachi finally gets mad and yells at Dojima in front of the whole police department, which causes the boss to send Adachi home and kick him off work for two weeks. He finally calls Dojima out on knowing that Adachi had feelings for him, and how he used them to manipulate and ridicule him. He leaves his keys to the house. Dojima apologizes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And You've Been Taking Me for Granted- By Now

**Author's Note:**

> In Lieu of Persona 4 the animation being released and all my fangirling returning to me at full throttled force, I would like to finally write down the many fiction ideas that have been circulating in my skull ever since I played Persona 4 six years ago.
> 
> This will also, kind of, serve as a FST (a fanmix) since many songs have, in some way, reminded me of Dojima and Adachi. Most of these are AU’s. Most of these are based on a happier ‘what if’ scenario, without a lot of the twisted ‘Adachi’s a killer’ drama I see in other fics. I wanted to do a ‘lighter’ (I say this and laugh, because many of these are chalked FULL of emotional drama) take on it, because I actually liked the couple before I knew the ending and I actually hated the way they made Adachi act in the end. I know they had it planned all along but Adachi was my favourite character up until that point and it broke my heart to see that his reasons were so PETTY. I thought, okay, they can redeem this if they give him a good reason! Nope.
> 
> I digress, I really didn't have any BETA-ers so I apologize for anything that sounds awkward.

XxX

He should have known it was going to be a bad day.

Everyone had been on edge for the last week at the police department, all warily awaiting the day when the rep from the main branch came to pay them a visit. Adachi himself had tried to not let it get to him, because his job shouldn’t be in jeopardy when he was one of the people to help solve the murder cases. The only problem was that the rep wasn’t there to fire anyone, as the normally good-natured detective had learned that morning; he was there to do psychological profiling. On them.

Apparently it had been noted that people were taking copious amounts of sick leave and vacation time ever since the incidents. This, apparently, warranted them all being watched like lab rats as someone walked around with a clipboard and graded them on their mental health. What exactly did they expect? People were glad that the killer was behind bars and they wanted to spend time with their families. The case had done a number on the department since it had hit so close to home in such a small, closely-knit community.

All that he knew was, if he just acted like he normally would, he wouldn’t have the embarrassment of being sent on the walk of shame. What was this walk, you ask? The ‘we’ve decided to give you a week off’ speech, when in reality it was them saying ‘you are too stressed to do your job properly and you obviously have some sort of PTSD so go take a week of mental health days’. It had especially ruffled Dojima’s feathers, who had taken the news as some sort of personal attack on him.

“Absolutely ridiculous.” He growled as he slammed the file of papers on Adachi’s desk that morning. “You want them to send you home on sick leave that badly? Fix those damn papers, and put your head back on straight! I can’t have you waltzing out of here and leaving me with all this filing.”

Needless to say, the sooner that day was over, the better. Adachi nearly shed tears of relief when lunch rolled around and he was able to excuse himself from the smothering aura the man was emitting.

Normally the younger detective would have done something to try and cheer him up, like offer to pay for a beer for him after work, or surprise him with a coffee. This time he knew that there was no way in hell he was going to get on the man’s good side until this profiler was back on the train out of there. As much as he would never wish to relive those months of uncertainty, the attacks on the two women had brought him and his partner nearer to being good friends. It had forced them to become closer in one year than what many detectives couldn’t accomplish in ten years of working with each other.

As such, Adachi knew this was one of those hopeless situations where he would just have to wait it out.

The one thing that he did appreciate was, after the cases had been closed, his co-worker had begun to treat him like a real person. It had angered the normally docile officer to no end when Dojima treated him like an errand boy. It had gotten to the point when he was going to start threatening to quit and blow up on the single father. He took his job seriously, and he had been bitter at first, but he had just as many credentials!

So many nights he’d spent running through all the things Dojima had done that day to piss him off; calling him a rookie, demanding that he go do menial jobs, snapping at his opinions, the list had gone on in what seemed like virtually forever. Then, things had slowly begun to change, and he had noticed his evening rants became less and less, and more and more fond thoughts of the other man. He’d noticed the change gradually, and the fake patience and earnest to help his partner had evolved into genuine feelings.

Luckily, they were finally past that and he had been given the respect he finally deserved. Instead of ordering him to go fetch him a coffee, now he would simply ask him to go and grab him one. He even got a please on most days.

He hated to admit it, but even during those times when his blood had boiled, he couldn’t get as mad as he had wanted to at Dojima to his face. He had let him inside his life and placed his trust in him so much that Adachi was positive that they were now friends. He had tested his boundaries with amazing results, even going as far as to ask the older worker to get him a coffee (but that was when he was mostly going out the door anyways, he would never inconvenience him otherwise).

Oh, he heard the sniggers. People whispering behind his back that he was the little errand boy, and Dojima’s work wife. Some even went as far as to say he followed him around like a puppy in love and kissed the ground Ryotaro walked on. He had to admit, it didn’t bother him. He knew it was inappropriate to be as close as they were sometimes, but they had been through a lot together. When Dojima had ended up in the hospital, who had sat by his bedside to make sure he didn’t hop out when the nurses weren’t looking?

He had never entertained the idea that, maybe, he cared a little too much. He couldn’t afford to let his mind wander down that road or else he’d get stuck in the middle of nowhere with no map to help him back to sanity. He had always known he held stronger feelings for his partner, and they were just reinforced when he would catch a glimpse of genuine caring from the older detective. Still, he was content to stay just where he was and not push it.

He was feeling particularly easy-going that day, just with the thought that, once this person left, the other detective would feel bad and buy him dinner in repayment for snapping on him. He just had to think of that moment when the older man would shuffle into the office, rubbing the nape of his neck sheepishly as he awkwardly (gruffly) apologised for his behaviour. Every time, Tohru would smile, assure him he is over it (never say it didn’t matter, because he had to have SOME control) and then accept any penance he was offered.

That all went down the drain when the representative came waltzing into Dojima’s office, clapped him on the shoulder, and proceeded to talk like they were best friends. Or actually, they had been. They were old chums from college and when the younger officer had come back into the office, neither had even noticed. Adachi tried not to feel jealous, he tried to quietly sit at his desk and do his work as the two of them joked and laughed naught two meters away.

It was better than being yelled at, is what he told himself, but he was already missing the penance that he would have been guaranteed otherwise.

They talked for what seemed like hours, and more and more Adachi knew this man didn’t know a thing about his partner like he did. Like when he asked him about his daughter, Dojima did that same neck-rub thing he did when he was apologizing for something. He always felt infinitely bad about his relationship with Nanako, even if his words were confident and didn’t let any of his true emotion bleed into them. He listened as Dojima fed him lie after lie, almost wanting to get up and strangle both of them. It was almost painful to listen to and he really needed to stop being so upset about it.

He had gotten along for a solid amount of time before the other man realized he was there and made a comment. “This your partner?”

“Oh, hello sir.” Adachi held out his hand to shake and gave him his best timid smile. “Nice to meet you.”

“You’re...” The rep flipped the page on his notepad and glanced at the list of names. “Adachi, Tohru? I hear you have to work with this guy? That can’t be easy.” He gestured to his old pal, and Adachi was surprised to see Dojima’s face tighten at that. Had he expected Adachi to blurt out that Dojima needed one of those sick weeks at any given moment? He wasn’t about to betray him like that.

And it was that moment when things went downhill.

“Adachi.” Dojima barked as the other man stumbled out that his partner was a pleasure to work with. “Go do something useful and get me a coffee.”

The rep laughed good naturedly, and dismissed Adachi to his task before turning to sit on the edge of Dojima’s desk. “Oh, would you mind getting me one too? Double, double is fine.”

It was only that his feet automatically led him out of the office that stopped Adachi from gaping. He hadn’t been talked to like that in months, and HE had been the one actually doing work. He stopped at the coffee station and stood there for a long while, staring at the two cups he had pulled out. Many thoughts jumped into his mind, but ‘how dare he’ seemed to come up more times than he cared to count. He was not his secretary, he thought angrily as all the rage he had built up during those first few months resurfaced, he was his _partner._

Now suddenly some hotshot comes around and Dojima thinks he needs to throw around his weight? He tried to calm down, and thought he had almost succeeded when he heard the low chuckles.

He was only a few doors down from the office, but he could see a couple people had accumulated outside his and Dojima’s office. They were all listening to the conversation with interest, and as he wandered back over he began to catch onto why they were all so amused.

“-I mean, I heard all about him at the office. He’s like your own personal wife, isn’t he? Always running around saying ‘yes sir’ all the time? I wish I had one of him, though, I definitely wouldn’t pay him as much.”

“Believe me; he’s not as great as you make him sound. He always gets my coffee order wrong and his signatures look like they’re a fifth graders.”

He had purposely gotten his order wrong at the beginning to piss him off, and he hadn’t gotten it wrong since. His hand writing wasn’t exactly his fault either.

“Well then you won’t mind if I take him, will you?”

“I mean, I don’t know why you’d need him. He’d probably cause you more trouble than good. ”

Laughter.

One of the women who worked the emergency calls looked at Adachi as he stood there clutching the coffees so tightly the lids were popping off. “Are you going to take that?” She mouthed and gestured to the closed doors.

The crowd was staring at him expectantly, and he saw it in their eyes. ‘Yeah, he’ll take it. He takes everything Dojima dishes out’.

So he strode into the office, and kicked the door shut with a loud bang after himself. Dojima and the other detective jumped in their seats and turned to stare at him as he made his way over. Before the other man could chastise him, he slammed the two cups down on Dojima’s desk and leaned on it with both hands so he could tower over the man. He didn’t know if this was for all those times that he had been treated like trash, or if it was the humiliation he had faced in the hall, what he did know was he was about to do something big.

“Listen, _Sir_. I don’t care if you want to show how impressive you are to the man you were cursing about only an _hour_ ago, but you don’t get to use _me_ as a stepping stone. We are supposed to be _partner_ s, I went to school just like you did, and I did my time as an officer. I’m not your little errand boy and I don’t appreciate you auctioning me off to the highest bidder at the top of your lungs so that everyone in the hallway can hear you. I thought you were beyond acting like you’re superior to me, because last time I checked, you don’t sign my paycheck.”

He leaned back, knowing he hadn’t really thought this one through. He almost felt bad, but then he realized the rep was looking at him like he had just given him the number one candidate for the walk of shame. Well, if he was going down, he may as well go down with fireworks. “And if you’re such an amazing detective that I should be in awe of, then maybe you wouldn’t need me to go over all of your _old files_.” Yeah, he went there. Dojima knew exactly what he meant by the old files. His _wife’_ s old files.

“I’m taking a stress day.” He grabbed his coat and all but sneered in the direction of the rep.

Ten minutes later, he was called into the police chief’s office and his boss was just flipping his cell closed. “You need that week of mental health days?” He all but growled as he gestured for the so called ‘rookie’ to have a seat. “The rep thinks you’re a little bit unstable.”

He wants to roll his eyes and scoff at that, but he knows that will just make things worse. Besides, the chief isn’t really looking for an answer, he is just talking aloud. At one time, he would have answered him anyways, now he just watches him with a bored acceptance.

“I’ve heard things, and you know exactly what I’m talking about. I think you two should be, ah, split up.” He’s trying to find a delicate way to say that the gossip is really starting to get ridiculous, and the two of them are making fools of themselves. “So I’m giving you a week off, as well as Dojima, and when you two come back we will discuss putting the two of you on different shifts.” He was astounded that his partner was being punished just the same as he was. He had known his boss was a fair man, but he’d never been on the receiving end until then. He could have hugged him as he agreed to the terms and went home.

It wasn’t until two hours later, as he stared up at the ceiling in his apartment, that he realized what a grave mistake that was. The only problem was he didn’t feel bad about it at all.

 X

He had never been that angry in his life, he had always commended himself at being able to hide his emotions well. Now he wanted to smash things. Since he had no one to rant to, his brain happily provided him with another version of himself to argue with. ‘ _Calm the fuck down_.’ He’d always imagined his inner voice being a lot snider, and for some odd reason, he imagined glowing yellow eyes while he was at it.  Currently, Inner Tohru was wearing a messy suit with the shirt un-tucked and his glowing cat-like orbs looked completely unimpressed.

‘ _It’s not like you really have a reason to be mad. So he treated you like trash_ -‘ Inner Adachi gave him the degrading once-over as be tacked on ‘- _It’s not like you aren’t **used** to it._ ’

‘ _I am **not** used to it from him_.’ He countered, catching himself before he said it out loud and really started sounding like a lunatic. ‘ _He hasn’t done that in a long time!_ ’

‘ _You sound like you’re the pathetic homemaker and this is the tenth time he’s fucking cheated on you, grow some goddamn balls. I can’t believe I share a body with you._ ’ Inner Adachi now held a beer in his hand that he took a satisfying sip of to wash down the vulgarity.

 _‘How are we supposed to be partners if he treats me like that?!’_ He realized that his apartment already looked like he’d ransacked it in rage, so he did the opposite, and began cleaning as the inner dialogue continued on.

‘ _Oh for shits sakes, you can lie to the world but I AM YOU. I know the reason why you get so pissy. You follow him around like you’re the kid and he’s the walking candy store. You’re just praying for the day when he throws you a lollipop to suck on.’_

“When did I become so disgusting?” He grumbled aloud, shuddering at the imagery and implications as he picked up all the old beer and pop cans that littered around the table and threw them into an old grocery bag that had been stuffed under the futon.

‘ _Hey, not my fault you have suppressed the dark and dirty things you want to do so bad that you gained an extra personality from it. You know what I’d do if he told me to get him a coffee?’_ There was a glint in those eyes as the mind made image took another swing of alcohol. He then straightened up and played the perfect doe-eyed, docile image that made Adachi feel sick to his stomach. He probably looked just like that. ‘ _Of course, sir, and while I’m at it why don’t I just get on my knees and-’_

The rookie detective slammed his shin so hard into the table that even his other self winced and cut himself off.

“Fuck!”

‘ _I was just going to suggest a blow job, but hey, may as well go all the way..._ ’ The yellow eyed menace shrugged.   

“Would you just go away!?” He hissed as he hobbled over to the chair in the kitchen and sat down to assess the damage to his leg.

‘ _I would if you’d just admit that you want to bone him and you hate the fact that he knows that and takes advantage of you._ ’

“W...what?”

‘ _Hokay, I have a lot of work to do, you are so repressed that I am going to have to tell you what your brain already figured out. He. Takes. Advantage. Of. You. He knows you like him but he also knows you don’t have the balls to do anything about it. He gets you to come over and have dinner to make you feel loved then asks you to pick up Nanako from school to go to her appointment on Thursday._ ’

“I...”

‘ _I mean, he doesn’t do it consciously either. I’m sure. He’s not devious enough for that, your whole relationship is based on guilt, just like every other one in his life. The real problem now is the fact that you have things you strategically left at his house and now you have to go get them back. You need that can opener, he has all your old binders on cases you need back, and I’m sure you’ve even left a whole outfit there once_.’

“Fuck.”

‘ _Someone has a new favourite word_.’

X

“Adachi...?”

Dojima looks like he’s just crawled out of bed; the sight of his normal clothes is rare treat especially since he is wearing a dark t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Adachi was pretty sure that everyone owned a pair of comfortable grey sweats; it was just the law of the universe. Either way, seeing his partner like that made all the interesting comments from his weird inner-jerk make all the more sense. He had to swallow and remind himself that he was not here to ogle the other detective; he was still sore about the whole situation.

“I’m here...” He trailed off, wondering if the words coming out of his mouth next will really make him sound like some sore bloke who’s had his heart broken.

Then again, that’s the point of all this, isn’t it? He has and he hates it. He felt personally betrayed because his partner didn’t defend him and, after all they’d been through, Adachi had defended him and more. He had been a friend, a partner, and (yes, he’ll admit it) a spouse when the situation called for it. He loved Nanako and he felt like he was stuck on the blurry line of part of the family and acquaintance. The girl deserved more than she had been given, and sometimes he wasn’t sure if he was angrier at himself for getting involved, or Dojima for not being the father she should have.

“I need my things.” He finally announced, and boldly stepped into the home without even waiting for an invitation. He bee-lined for the kitchen to grab the three things he actually needed, calling over his shoulder as he did so. “I will be out of your hair in a minute.”

It was strange that he had the power, and he hadn’t even noticed the struggle between the two of them until the night before. It really was a constant feedback loop of one of them trying to exert more power over the other. He had always just assumed that Ryotaro had won, but now he saw all the times he had wormed his way into the top dog position just by being sneaky. This was one of those times, as his older coworker watched him passively as he rooted through his house for his can opener, his coffee-maker, his favourite mug, and all his case files he’d left in a neat pile by the phone.

They were breaking up, as embarrassing as that was, and he was the victim and both of them knew it. The only difference was that, even though he was in control, he felt seven inches tall. He wished he could make it more dramatic somehow, to throw his keys for the house at the other man or something like that. The only problem was that he had given those back to him a long time ago when Dojima had been locked out of his own home by accident.

“I’m...”

He knew that the moment they actually started talking about this, he’d end up in the losing court again, so he cut Dojima off rudely.

“You know I love you.” He pointed out in an almost snarl, rounding on the quiet father. He knew Nanako was at school, so he didn’t need to quiet his voice for her sake. He wondered if the other man ever gave her that exact same consideration. “This isn’t about our work and you know it. You’ve been taking me for granted.” He accused, feeling like his head was suddenly weightless and the blood rushing upwards made him dizzy. “I don’t know if I’m your co-worker or your friend or...” He made a vague gesture, losing his nerve to say something that meant much more than either of the two previous terms.

“What you said in the office? That shouldn’t matter, I should suck it up and go back to my passive-aggressive ways of getting back at you like filing your paperwork wrong or getting your coffee order mixed up, but you upped the ante when you brought me into your family.”

They both fell into silence at the revelation, his own words almost causing him to physically stumble. Now that all the vigour had been sucked out of him he realized he’d lost his nerve and he was back to being vulnerable. The ball was back in Dojima’s court, and he was just waiting for him to shout at him to get out, and he would gladly do so. Instead he just watched him in a wary, stunned silence. Adachi found it strange that he didn’t immediately resort to anger like he normally did. This was something new.

So, did that mean he permanently held the ball? What was he supposed to do with it? He looked down at the coffee maker under his arm and decided that he didn’t want it anymore. Actually, the only thing he really wanted was his mug. His sister had given it to him. It would probably lose its effect if he only walked out with a cup. He needed to move and make a decision, but he just felt that same feeling welling up inside him.

God damn him, the pathetic bastard had made him love him because he felt sorry for him. He felt pity for him and his dead wife, his neglected daughter, and his heart that had a huge hole in it. It made people like Adachi, the suckers, want to fill those voids in their lives. Over time, that compassion turned into a counter-dependence, because above all he wanted to feel needed and accepted, and Dojima did that for him.

Which made perfect sense, because all he wanted to do was drop everything and run over there; swearing that he didn’t mean any of it. He wanted to act like the perfect spouse, but if he didn’t walk away now he’d just get hurt even more in the long run. They would take this moment of true emotion and sweep it under the rug as an act of silliness and then Adachi would never be able to bring it up again. He had to walk away and save the last bit of dignity that Dojima hadn’t taken from him.

So he turned on his heel and left.

X

All his brave words and actions left him sitting in a spotless apartment with his stupid coffeemaker staring him in the face as the only object on his living room table.

‘ _That could have gone better_.’

‘ _You again_.’ He groaned inwardly, his head falling into his hands as the image of his alter ego showed up in front of him with a hardly contained wince on his face.

‘ _For what it’s worth you did well. I guess you can’t stop him from being a coward._ ’

‘ _Easy for you to say, you aren’t going to be the laughing stock of the whole police department. You have a nice backseat view._ ’

He thought about what the other man would be doing at that moment. Nanako would be home by now, her cheerful disposition probably making Dojima temporarily forget about what had just gone down. He wished he had someone to create a ray of sunshine in his bleak life, because if he did he wouldn’t be sitting and talking to himself. He was pretty sure he’d miss her most of all, because she had been so cautious around him at first, but near the end she had really come to rely on him. He felt like he’d created one of the first pure relationships in his life that didn’t revolve around a necessity of some kind.

What would he do next? Call the department and probably ask to have Adachi moved to somewhere else. After all, he was the one with anchors to Inaba and more seniority.

He’d hide behind the notion that Adachi had finally broken the dam between their feelings, and he’d gladly take the fall. Maybe he’d move to Iwatodai, never get involved with another corworker’s family ever again and-

There wasn’t even a knock. It was just the simple turning of a key in a lock as the mechanics clicked open and allowed whomever had a key to his apartment entrance. Had someone seriously picked his lock? Did they not expect someone to be inside when the lights were all clearly on? A burglar, or even worse, a killer, were about to come storming into his apartment and he wasn’t sure if he was defeated or pissed about it.

He’d probably used all of his confidence that morning at the show-down.

Except when the person opened the door and strode inside, it all keyed into place. He’d given Dojima a key to his place just in case he needed it, which had been around the time that he’d been given his own set to the other man’s home. Was he seriously rubbing the fact that he had a key in Tohru’s face JUST to give him back said key? Well, maybe he’d finally gotten angry.

When the older detective marched over and reached for him he was sure he was going to get a solid hit to the jaw. Instead, he was hauled to his feet via a firm grip on his arm and his soon to be ex-co-worker began dragging him towards the door. “We’re going drinking.”

The conviction in his tone was one that he recognized, so he stayed quiet as he was led to the passenger seat, knowing full well that if he wanted to resist, he should have done it before then. The ride over was silent, and he wondered if the other detective could hear the loud contractions of his heart like he did. This was how they were going to play it; they were going to get drunk, get over this awkwardness, and then go their separate ways and pretend like nothing had happened. The sad part was he was looking forward to it.

 They both got out of the car and headed into the pub like a million times before. They sat in the same booth and the waitress came over and asked them if they wanted their regular beer order.

“I’ll have anything with vodka in it.” Adachi asked her gratefully, and her eyes widened at the request. Suddenly, they softened, and she nodded without asking anything further.

“I thought you liked beer.” There was a rough edge to Dojima’s voice that he recognized as a nervous caution. He, once again, realized he shouldn’t be able to read his partner’s tone.

He shrugged. “It’s just something cheap I can drink to get drunk fast. I’m more of a hard liquor person.”

How odd, that was actually the truth.

“I guess I should know you better than this.”

He nervously shifted at that, wondering if that meant that Dojima wanted to get to know him better. Wasn’t it supposed to be the opposite?

“You cleaned your apartment.” The father pointed out, starting up another conversation, his eyes watching his partner for his reaction. Adachi wasn’t sure what was going on, but he was pretty sure he’d had the ball forcefully taken out of his court.

“Yes.” He replied simply.

“You changed your habits for me.”

The younger detective furrowed his eyebrows and tried to laugh. It was such a strange thing to say, and he didn’t even know how to react. He was a little more conscientious, sure, but he hadn’t changed his personality to fit-

“It’s always been the same.” The other man started to say and then cut himself off as the barista came over with their drinks. Dojima had already fished out his wallet and paid her before Adachi could even move for his. “People always have to step up around me. First Nanako and now you. You were a complete mess when we first met, and now you’re the only one who knows where everything is in the office and at home.”

They were stunned into silence at the intimacy indicated, and Adachi practically drained his drink in one gulp. This was suddenly too much, and when the waitress cautiously came by moments later he ordered a double. She made a comment about a bad day and then disappeared to reappear moments later with his new order. Ryotaro paid for that one too, and Tohru didn’t even care. She was looking worriedly back and forth between the two of them, probably thinking his mother had just died and his partner was being a good friend by getting him drunk. The reality of it was too unreal to comprehend.

“You still have my keys.” The more inebriated of the two pointed out after he savoured his second drink.

“You aren’t getting them back.”

And that was it. Laid plain on the table were Dojima’s intentions, or rather, part of them. This wasn’t going to ruin their relationship and they were not going to disappear out of each other’s lives. Adachi vaguely wondered if this was Ryotaro being selfish or if he actually cared enough to put his foot down. “I’ve let a lot of things slip.” He explained to his younger co-worker, “but I’ve started to realize when I have something worth preserving.”

The rest of the conversation went on much like that, with Adachi trying to listen and understand all these emotions being thrown at him. He finished another drink before he realized he was no longer listening to his partner; he’d gotten the gist of where this was headed. Instead his eyes were wandering, wondering when he’d become so obsessed with someone’s throat before. The way it sloped, the Adam’s apple that bobbed up and down with each swing of beer, the stubble that he kept. All of it was driving him crazy, and he abruptly stood up to excuse himself to the bathroom so he wouldn’t have to stare at him for a couple seconds while he relived his bladder.

When he came back his partner was no longer sitting at the table, instead he was waiting by the doors with their jackets. He wordlessly handed Adachi his and made it clear that they were going home. Finally, a concern raised itself in the drunk man’s mind. “Where’s Nanako?”

“I asked my nephew to go over and watch her.” He helped him put on his coat in an oddly endearing gesture, and then opened the door and began walking him to the car.

He was still sober enough to walk, and he could feel the ghost of Dojima’s hand on the small of his back as they walked to the car. It was either to keep him from running away or making sure he had him if he stumbled. The ride back to Adachi’s apartment was covered with the two of them making casual banter back and forth about how many drinks the older man had consumed. Adachi was sure he’d seen at least three, but Ryotaro assured him it was the same two beer bottles.

“I’m not drunk.” He said firmly, his eyes boring into Adachi’s for a simple moment as they pulled into the parking lot of his place. His mouth snapped shut.

This was when the younger detective wished he had drunk more, he was feeling jittery and edgy like a night filled with coffee and pouring over case files and evidence. He didn’t want to sit still and he knew that if he had the ability to pass out he’d probably save himself the embarrassment of what was about to happen. If only he’d had a few more drinks until he was completely smashed; those three had just taken the edge off.

He got his keys out and opened the door, feeling oddly fussy that he was the one to do this. He quickly shucked off his shoes and wandered into the kitchen to see if he had more beer, but he only had one left, and he couldn’t drink it without offering his guest one too. He groaned in defeat, and made sure to practically avoid the living area where Dojima was sitting on the small make-shift couch/chair. He made a point of walking into the bathroom and locking the door behind him.

For a long moment he pressed his back up against the wooden panel, breathing deeply for air that his lungs weren’t getting somehow. He was practically panicking and he didn’t know what to do with himself. What was about to happen? He decided that he would just get ready for bed like he normally did and then tell Dojima he was headed to sleep and he didn’t have to look after him. He’d make some comment about coming over the next day when he’d sobered up a bit (a lie) and then they’d continue on like they did before.

He had gotten into the habit of sleeping in a t-shirt and his underwear, whereas before he had only worn his boxers to bed. It just seemed like the polite thing to do when he spent so many nights at the Dojima household after being too inebriated to walk home, or when they’d gotten take out to do work at home. Adachi had always insisted that they spend as much time with Nanako as possible, saying that there was no reason why they couldn’t take certain things home when it was just paperwork.

The point was, he hadn’t brought anything into the bathroom with him, and he was not about to walk out of there practically naked, so he took off his tie and socks, and undid the cufflinks. After brushing his teeth and spending as much time in there as he could without it being too awkward, he opened the door to see the other man hadn’t moved. Tohru stood inelegantly by the bathroom door, and stared at him. He had that look on his face reserved for when he was thinking about all the options and scenarios of a case.

His foot was also practically touching the futon lying on the floor that he hadn’t bothered to put away that morning. He really wished he’d done that in retrospect.

Adachi walked over to the table to grab the phone and put it back on the charger, just so he’d have something to do while he said his little speech he’d decided on. “Thanks for getting me home. I’m fine, so-”

He turned around after placing it carefully on the cradle, and felt his stomach knot up when he realized that during his little stunt, the other detective had taken off his own tie. He then stood up and walked purposely over to where Tohru was standing. He reached out, and to the other man’s surprise, he grabbed the front of his shirt in his fist and dragged him over to where the futon was until they were standing on top of the mattress.

Upon sensing that there was no elegant way to do this, he sat down and dragged Adachi with him. It caused a bit of a mix up when they bumped a shoulder to a knee as the other man kind of resisted and ended up on his knees instead of on his behind. The petrified look on his face as he realized what was happening didn’t deter him at all, and throwing caution to the wind, Dojima dragged him closer and met his mouth as the momentum brought them together.

The action brought Adachi half-sprawled into his lap as he tried to keep one of his knees planted away so he could try to get out of the situation if needed be. He made a startled sort of sound when their lips connected, and his hands had automatically stabilized themselves on Ryotaro’s shoulders. Knowing he’d lose his opportunity, the older officer used his other hand to grab the back of his skull and keep him there as he moved the kiss a step further.

To his partner, the cushion of his lips had been surprising, and the stubble was not as bad as he’d thought it would be on his cheek. It was strange to think that this was a really nice kiss and then connect that it was his senior detective giving it to him. He still couldn’t bring himself to find it revolting or uncomfortable even as much as he tried to. He finally let himself relax a bit, and Ryotaro took that opportunity to pull him a bit closer. He ended up sitting on the side of his hip, and then Dojima finally let go of his shirt.

It was good, and he was starting to fall into the pleasure of the kiss before the game was switched up on him again. He became alarmingly aware of the fact that four buttons later and his shirt was completely undone. A tentative hand reached into his shirt and rested on the warmth of his bare side. He distracted him as he felt him tense and began licking his way into Adachi’s mouth. Now, not that he was complaining, but the now more exposed of the two found it unnerving at how good he was at this.

They broke apart, further than they had before that moment for quick breaths, and the situation rested heavily between them. They were both men. The thundering in his chest wouldn’t settle, and he felt like he was having a panic attack as the older man practically pulled his arm that had locked and kept him seated out from under him. He hit the mattress hard and before he could push himself to sit up again, a very solid body was pressing him down.

He tried to talk, and tell him this needed to end. “Don’t-!...” Then teeth found the junction where his jaw met his neck and he felt his breath falter. “...Stop.”

Taking the two words as a sentence, Dojima continued his pursuit with his mouth. This area was treated much more tentatively than the tonguing he’d previously been doing. He leant back just far enough to keep his lips on Adachi’s throat as he ripped off his jacket and began undoing his shirt buttons.

Feeling the lack of weight, Tohru was able to catch his arm underneath him and lean up a bit more. When he saw his partner lean away to give him some much needed space he felt like he had to make a decision. He either sat back to held on for the ride, or he could actually admit to himself that he wanted to participate. What was the point in pretending like what they were doing was wrong or unjustified? They both wanted this and all he was doing was saving face by resisting.

Fuck it.

He sat up and pushed Dojima’s hands away impatiently, pulling each button from the hole and shoving it down his arms until he couldn’t anymore and the other man had to take over and pull his hands the rest of the way out. He marvelled at all the things that _should be_ turning him off: the aggressive approach, the stubble on his face, the too large hands, and the _chest hair_. They were making him painfully hard. Everything that made him more real as a _man he was about to have sex with_ were the things that made him excited. 

This was less complicated than he had originally thought, maybe he _was_ gay.

He placed his hands on the lean, but still kind of pudgy from the lack of exercise, stomach and leaned forward to get another kiss. He slid his hands down, starting to feel the same amount of urgency that the other man had been showing him up until that point. He prayed to any god or goddess that he knew of that when he shakily undid he top zipper he’d find that the other man was into this. He didn’t know how he’d proceed if the other person didn’t feel even a little aroused.

He was caught between relief and the crushing reality of their genders as he felt the straining on Dojima’s pants when he finally built up enough courage to press the heel of his hand there. Ryotaro hissed into his mouth and he pulled away quickly in fear that maybe he was re-thinking the whole thing. Instead he sort of shuffled his butt closer and successfully pressed his crotch more firmly into the hand against it.  Taking this as an invitation Adachi completely undid the rest of the contraptions keeping the erection contained and slipped his hand inside. It was almost unbearably hot, and he wrapped his hand around it.

With a groan of encouragement, he began to stroke slowly, being rewarded with Dojima grabbing his ass in his hands firmly and biting roughly at his neck again. It was excruciating that he still had his own pants on, and he wiggled a bit to see if he could drive the point home.

The world spun a moment, and suddenly he was on his back again, the wind almost knocked out of him as Ryotaro attacked his pants and all but ripped them and his underwear off of him in one smooth movement. He sat back and seemed to come to his senses for a minute as he took in the sight of something different than what he was used to. This was it, the make it or break it moment, and Adachi closed his eyes and laid back, waiting for some sort of sign of the other man proceeding or making his exit. He felt the weight shift, but it never left the bed like he thought it would.

There was rustling and he heard something hit the floor just beside the bed near his head. He was just about to open his eyes when the weight settled on him again and he felt a hand wrap firmly around him. He gasped sharply, his neck snapping back at the rush of pleasure he wasn’t expecting and every thought fizzed out of existence.

“Adachi.” The first word that had been shared since they started this and it grounded him back to earth and made him open his bleary eyes. Dojima’s pupils were wide, and a flush seemed to cover his whole body. He was out of breath and his hair was mussed. He felt himself growing harder in his hand, and he was painfully aware of how bright it was. He wondered if it would be ridiculous if he got up to turn off every light in the room. They had put on a lamp near the door, and the bathroom and kitchen lights were both on. It wasn’t as bright as he could have been had the living room light been on, but it was still bright enough to see every detail.

“Yeah...?” He replied mindlessly.

“I’m going to...” He trailed off and looked down at the length in his hand and it relayed his intentions to his partner. He swallowed thickly and nodded. He could feel the sweat pooling on his skin, and he was only vaguely aware that his shirt was still on his arms.

The items that had hit the floor near his head where a condom and a bottle of some sort of lubricant. As Dojima slicked up his fingers he tried not to think about what was about to happen. Both hands returned to him, but one had a finger pushing inside of him and the other one was trying to distract him by pleasuring his cock. He tried to think of the gratification, but after a few moments of trying to ignore it, he decided to open up his legs a little wider and make this a bit easier.

The slow invasion was a bit torturous, and he began to feel some relief from the burning pain when the fingers slightly rotated and then began moving in and out of him. It was like scratching an itch but not getting the full satisfaction, and he grabbed the blanket beneath him with a fist and focused his attention on the body before him. He took in everything; the strong muscles on his arms, the watch he never took off, and the hair that went from his navel to the proud swell of his length jutting up. His pants were just barely falling off his hips.

After the third finger’s burn melted away, Adachi ran his hand up Ryotaro’s forearm as some sort of signal. He was as comfortable with this as he was ever going to get.

Ryotaro pulled away and slipped on the condom before coating himself with the last bit of lubrication. He grabbed Tohru’s hips and angled himself to enter. The hand that had rested on his forearm gripped onto him and he slowly pushed his way inside, not used to feeling such a different kind of tightness. Adachi’s body arched off the bed as it tried to decide if it wanted to get away or stick it out until it got better. He clenched his teeth and held his breath.

When his partner was seated inside him, he opened his eyes and thought to himself that this was what he should think about if he ever wanted to do this again. The pain and the reaction of his body to being dominated by another man, it was almost too much for him to deal with. This was just embarrassing, and he instantly began to feel the regret settle in as the girth made him feel painfully stretched to his limit. This was not how he’d imagined it; wasn’t there something that made this better?

If only he’d gotten off before this.

Dojima began to move, a moderate pace so he wouldn’t lose control and fuck him into the futon without any consideration. He felt lightheaded and wasn’t sure what he should be doing except for moving. He knew the body below his was rigid, but he didn’t know how to fix it. It went on like that for a minute or so as he felt the sweet friction against his erection, but made sure it was not enough to get him close to the edge.

He felt frustrated that Adachi wasn’t trying to breath, and he reached forward to place his hand on his chest. He felt the whoosh of the expanding lungs as the man beneath him got the hint, and suddenly the pain was a little bit easier to deal with, and the younger man was starting to feel that same light itching feeling. He could deal with this until the other detective orgasmed; he had just assumed it would be better somehow. 

Seeing that he wasn’t as tense and was slightly moving his hips to meet his, he brought his attention back to the penetration. Sensing that his lover was okay with this, he decided it was time to pick up the pace. He grabbed his hips and sat back a bit to pull their pelvises flush up against each other until Tohru was practically seated against him. He then pulled out and slammed back in. He almost dropped him and fell over at the surprise of the body arching up and the loud moan. He stopped and stared down at the man beneath him, thoroughly confused.

“Oh god, I really will leave you if you stop. I don’t know what you just did but-” Brown eyes were boring into his, as if daring him to pull away and not continue. He did the same thing again and was rewarded with a slightly less extravagant response, but the intense pleasure was still there. Now his partner’s hips met his in earnest, and the breathy pleads for him to not stop pushed him to take this full throttle. He wrapped his arm a little more securely around and, now that Adachi was helping the position, he was able to use his free hand to stroke him in quick, off-beat jerks.

He was just starting to feel the tingling in his stomach that signalled his release was near when the muscles clenched around him and Tohru came abruptly. The clamping down onto his hardness sent him over the edge much sooner than he’d anticipated, and they fell together in an uncomfortable, sweaty, heap. He felt the white of the powerful pleasure bleed into the sides of his vision, and his whole body felt hyper-sensitized.

“Oh... Wow... Thank you.” He heard Adachi mumble, and he shifted to press an off-mark kiss to his cheek instead of his mouth as he pulled out of him and got comfortable beside him. He threw the condom towards the general direction of the garbage.

“Not bad for a first time.” He was actually, genuinely, surprised at the two of them for being able to do that without any major mishaps along the way.

Tohru threw his arm across his eyes and gave a breathy laugh. “Thank God.”

“You thought it was going to be horrible?” He almost added a ‘too’ at the end, but his tone said it enough.

Adachi put his arm down and finally looked at him, a wry smile quirking up his lips. “I thought I’d never want to have sex again.”

The truth didn’t even bother him, because they’d surpassed both of their expectations, and so he genuinely laughed and wrapped his arm around the younger detective’s middle. He muffled the laughter in the sheets and Tohru turned angled his body towards him and pulled at his shoulders until he lifted his head to see what he wanted. The younger detective threaded his hands in his hair and kissed him passionately.

He proceeded to return the favour and press Dojima into the bed with his weight, but he had forgotten about the cum on his stomach. Adachi pulled away at the feeling of it smearing between them, slightly freaking out and sheepishly apologizing.

“Oh, crap. I’m sorry...”

He didn’t even have to roll his eyes and assure him it was fine, he just used his newfound ability to show him his feelings with his body and pulled him back in for another kiss. He made sure to draw him in until they were sandwiched against each other. The dirtiness didn’t bother him one bit, which was weird considering he had always been a very clean person in bed when he had been with his wife. The thought was quickly wiped from his mind when Adachi climbed on top of him and his thighs rested on either side of his hips. He was sucking on his tongue, effectively dragging him back into the mood.

“So can we... try and see if we can out-do ourselves right... now?” The meek question reminded him of the moments when Adachi would ask him a question at the office he wasn’t sure if he’d get mad about.

“I don’t have another condom.” He warned as Adachi leaned back and reached for the tissues on the table to clean them off.

The statement was ignored in favour of getting up to get the box on the table and turn off the remainder of the lights. He watched him pull his rumpled shirt back onto his shoulders, his bare ass barely covered by the bottom of the shirt. He wasn’t used to it, but he was pretty sure he’d start appreciating it soon. When he finally settled back down on top of him, the veil of the darkness gave him confidence, and he responded. “There are other things we can do.”

“Best idea you’ve ever had.”

X

Adachi was startled awake by how bright it was in the house. He sat up and felt a stiffness shoot up his spine and remind him that he’d done things the previous day that his body wasn’t used to. He ignored the pain in favour of deciding what sort of situation he was in. At first he’d thought Dojima was gone, because the futon beside him was empty and he couldn’t see him from where he was sitting. He then heard the light tinkling of someone stirring a cup and then footfalls.

Dojima came around the corner with two mugs in his hand, and he leaned down to give one to Adachi wordlessly as he sunk into the cushions of the couch. He was fully dressed and looked a lot more put together than his lover did. The other man took a tentative sip and then opened his mouth to thank him; the fact that his partner had actually got him coffee not lost on him.

“I made a promise to make the beverages around the house.”

‘ _You don’t have to thank me, this is my apology_.’ Was what he really said.

“Of course, sir.” He grinned from behind his cup.

“Don’t call me sir anymore.”

“Yes... sir.”


End file.
